My heartbreaking decision

by Anonymous

June 23, 2020

It’s been a year. One year since I had my abortion. I didn’t want to but I am thankful I could. My relationship was toxic and the moment I found out I was pregnant it became worse and at 12 weeks I had a medical abortion. I spent a lot of that time elated to be growing a baby and that was eventually overruled with extreme stress and panic over the realisation that I would never be the mother I wanted to be stuck with a partner who did not respect me and thought he then “owned my body”. I had hours of counselling over what my options were and I involved the father in it all. The father agreed that the timing wasn’t right and the relationship wasn’t healthy to bring a child into the world. I knew it wasn’t going to be an easy road mentally but I knew it was the right thing for that baby. I couldn’t believe there was a waitlist to have an abortion, I had made an incredibly difficult decision and had to sit and wait. I didn’t move for weeks. It was torture. Father, nowhere to be seen. I hurt terribly. The medical procedure was easy physically, mentally I still struggle everyday. I was broken and the very next day that father walked out and never returned. Some pain will never leave but I remain confident in my decision to have an abortion. It wasn’t the baby who was unwanted, it was the circumstances. My heart aches but I cannot wait to become a mother when the time is right. It is certainly not the easy way out.

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