My first of 2 abortions

by Rachel

June 18, 2021

When I was 20 I was dating a Marine for about 3 months. He got out of the Corp and headed home to Utah. We knew we were going to break up, but thought it would be fun for me to visit before we did. So off to Utah I headed in July 2001. We had a great long weekend, but it was ultra clear that our decision to break up would be the right one. Several weeks later my period was late and I thought nothing of it because I had gotten my license suspended and started riding my bike everywhere. I had heard exercising delayed your period a bit, so I assumed that was it. Well, I had to go to the gyno for another procedure – I needed a LEEP due to precancerous cells on my cervix. A pregnancy test was standard operating procedure, so the Dr had me take one via a blood test. Away I went for Labor Day weekend at the river with some girlfriends. On the way home I was feeling awful, but I assumed it was a hangover. Boy was I wrong.

On Tuesday I got a call at work that my pregnancy test had come back positive. I knew immediately that I did not want to have this child. I was only 20, ill prepared, and my boyfriend and I had mutually broken up at the end of my vacation to Utah. So I called him to tell him I would be terminating my pregnancy. He hung up on me. All of a sudden his well hidden “conservative religious values” must have kicked in because he proceeded to call me back and yell at me. He told me I was a murderer, I’d be going to hell, and that although we had broken up, I should move to Utah and raise this child “with him”. All this did was solidify my resolve to terminate the pregnancy. I told him thanks but no thanks and requested that he send me money for half the cost and come back to California to go with me. I never heard from him ever again.

I scheduled my appointment and my mom took me to the clinic. There were a few protesters outside that came walking over as we walked up. They strongly suggested I was making the wrong choice and my mom let them have it! I was so thankful for her in that moment. She dropped me off inside and I went through the process. I was surprised to see several other women and girls there of all shapes, sizes, ages, races etc. It made me feel so not alone, which was comforting in that moment. I got prepped for the surgery and was taken into the operating room. As I was being counted down to sleep I remember the Dr holding my hand and I looked up at him with tears in my eyes and said “thank you for helping me”…and I have never once regretted my choice. I could not imagine where my life would be now that I am 40 and still not a mom had I been forced to have that child. I am proud to shout that I took control of my body and got a safe, medical abortion.

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