I found out two weeks ago that I was pregnant by a simple pregnancy test at home. I am a single parent of one child now who is 10. My periods have always been regular & on time but my period never came! I had all of the usual symptoms when my period is due yet my friend kept telling me to take a test. I was in denial since I’ve been on birth control pills for the past month or so and I took a test and a plan B pill week’s before hand.
I’ve been having sex exclusively with one person. A guy that is a narcissistic, controlling, insecure, self centered jerk. He has two children he doesn’t take care of currently so I knew if I ever ended up pregnant, I would terminate the pregnancy. What I can say is finding resources, researching abortion clinics was difficult; I realized I was limited. Every place I called told me they only do abortion pills for almost $700. I wanted to have a procedure instead & to have financial assistance if possible.
I ended up deciding the pills were my best option. I was provided resources for the pills to be mailed to me. The thing that hurt the most was that I couldn’t confide in the guy who got me pregnant. I knew he would not help me financially as he would use this child as a tool to keep a hold on me for his own financial gain. I told him I had a miscarriage a week before I did the abortion pills. I think I would have handled it better with sympathy, empathy from the guy. I know now I will never have that. I’m relieved & proud of myself but also emotionally sad because I’m ready & I do want more kids but this wasn’t the right time or the right person.
What I can say is any women out there you aren’t alone, you are making the best decision for yourself! Always put yourself first, love yourself, weight out all the pros & cons, have supportive people you trust to confide in. This is your body, your womb, your life that is the ultimate sacrifice. I don’t regret my decision but I am anxious/nervous right now to have sex again. I’m grateful the resources I found that helped me financially. At this point, I just need a hug and to give myself grace.
