My Fear Was Worse Than the Procedure

by Anonymous

November 26, 2019

I had a surgical abortion at 7 weeks.  Never in a million years did I think I would have one but I’ve always been pro-choice and I didn’t want a baby.

I was terrified of the procedure.  I was scared of the pain but I knew it was the right thing to do.

Because I live in Ontario, there is no waiting period, thank goodness.  I booked my appointment and got in two days later.

I was at the clinic for a total of 3 hours, most of which was spent filling out consents, going through counseling, and doing medical tests (ultrasound, blood work, etc.).  Here in Ontario, Canada, you don’t have to see the ultrasound unless you want to.  You don’t have to know whether or not there is a heartbeat.  You can even opt out of being told whether or not it’s a twin pregnancy.  THIS is abortion care at its finest.  This is what Dr. Morgentaler fought for.  A freaking hero in every sense of the word.  So glad to live in Canada, a free country that respects the rights of people to choose what happens to their bodies.  It’s also illegal here to protest outside of abortion clinics.  Not having to deal with religious nut-job forced-birthers certainly does help.  You literally walk peacefully into the building and you leave just as peacefully after you’re done.  Seeing what is happening in the US is terrifying.  My body. My choice

From the moment I walked through the doors to the moment I left, I felt so cared for.  Every single person was helpful, caring, patient, and compassionate.

When I was walked into the procedure room, I was crying so hard cause I was scared to death.  The female nurses reassured me that they will be by my side and that I’m in good hands.  I knew that.  I trusted them all.  They are professionals, after all.  They explained all the meds they will be giving me and how they will help.  The doctor came in and at this point, I didn’t even care that it was a guy.  I would have had to wait another couple of days to see a female and I just wanted this pregnancy to be over with.

I very vaguely recall a conversation about the needles used to numb my cervix and I don’t know what was said but I think I remember saying something to the effect of it not hurting much or I couldn’t feel much.  I remember absolutely NOTHING after that.  The next thing I knew, I was being sat up and told that the procedure was over.  I cried tears of relief and kept asking if it was really over cause I couldn’t believe it.  I had a conscious sedation so I was awake but thankfully, I don’t remember it.  I don’t know if I was also given laughing gas but I know it was an option although I was scared of the idea.  In total, the entire procedure was probably about 3 minutes long.

I was walked over to the comfortable recovery room where I was offered ginger ale and crackers.  I didn’t need it but I used the heating pad as it was comforting.

I asked my partner to stop at a coffee shop on the way home as I was starving.  I went inside by myself – that’s how good I felt.

We got home, I finished eating, I showered, and went to bed.  I was exhausted both physically and emotionally.  I didn’t take any pain meds until much later that night (but of course, took my antibiotics) and even that was more to prevent pain than to treat it.  I slept with the heating pad on a low setting and woke up feeling pretty good the next day.  Still tired but again, hardly any pain.  The bleeding was very minimal and I knew it would likely increase 3 to 4 days after the surgery but I was prepared for it.

I’m sharing my story because I want others to know that abortion doesn’t have to be scary.  It’s quite literally just a medical procedure to remove a bunch of rapidly-dividing cells from the uterus.  It’s a simple procedure and a very safe one.

We need to keep advocating for people’s right to choose because once that choice is denied, that’s when abortions become dangerous.

If you have chosen abortion for WHATEVER reason, your decision is VALID.  You are STRONG.  You are not alone.  You will get through this.  ♥

Remember that our stories are ours to tell. We’d love to hear your story too!