I have known since before I got my first period that I did not want children. I cried when I got it because it meant I wasn’t barren. From the age of 19 on, every doctors appointment contained a conversation about a tubal ligation. Every conversation ended in not yet. I was talked into an IUD by a provider who stated that it was the best option “in the mean time”. Until I was old enough to know better was the implication. The IUD failed but I continued to get my period for the first two months. On my first missed period, I went into the doctor who suggested the IUD and was told I was twelve weeks pregnant. This same doctor who told me I was not old enough for sterilization, then told me that I shouldn’t get an abortion and pushed for me to listen to the heartbeat. I left the clinic, scheduled an abortion, and took the soonest possible appointment. Valentine’s day. My abortion was a continuation of a decision I had been trying to make my whole life. To be a child free woman.