My body, my life, my decisions

by Anonymous

September 14, 2021

I am writing to share this story, to normalize and spread awareness on abortion. In the fall of 2018, I met my Significant Other on Tinder. I instantly felt a connection, with his personality, charisma, and life story. He grew up in an abusive, poor, and broken home. His hard-working and driven attitude, allowed him to focus on his self-worth and career. He became one of the top managers at the age of 16, while I continued down the path of being a teenager. We didn’t know each other during our youth years, but both had similar back stories. I grew up in a religious environment, with working parents, and being an only child. I would spend most of my days hopping around homes, as daycare wasn’t really an option for the low wages my parents made. As I grew older, my parents cheated, lied, and eventually divorced. Before my license, I was forgotten by who was picking me up from school or sports. They used me as a communicator back and forth, forgetting I wasn’t the one that should be stuck in the middle. I started taking care of myself at 12 years old and met my first love at 13. We both lost our virginity to one another and decided to utilize planned parenthood for contraception, as my parents never brought me to the doctor to support my health. I utilized planned parenthood for most of my high school days, until I was able to find a job with insurance.

My first love and I went separate ways and eventually I went on a date with my tinder charmer. It took us 9 months to start dating, as our pasts were still haunting us. It was the night of my best friend’s wedding in the fall of 2019 and we weren’t on the best terms. We struggled with communication, connection, and overall a strong foundation for a relationship. We both were drinking heavily and decided to partake in consensual, unprotected sex. A few weeks went by and I was scheduled for my period, but it hadn’t came. By this point I was off birth control (pill) for 2 years and finally had got my body onto a natural regulation cycle. I was 24 at the time. I tracked it using apps on my phone, my personal bodily knowledge, and wrote down daily journal notes on it. I thought it was just a hiccup in my every day life and decided to forget and hope it would come in the next week. A few days later, I became extremely sick. I couldn’t get off the bathroom floor for more then 30 minutes. My body was so weak, I couldn’t eat, drink, or go to work. I decided to take a pregnancy test and 3 minutes later, two pink lines crossed the stick. I called my SO and he rushed over right away. We knew that we weren’t  ready to take on the responsibility mentally or financially and we both don’t want children. We conversed over our options and the best was to schedule an abortion.

The state I was lived in at the time, only had 1 abortion clinic left. I felt secure knowing I only had to drive 5 minutes, to the clinic location. Knowing that some communities have zero access, hurts my heart because without that clinic, I would have lost not only myself, but also my SO as depression and suicidal thoughts never leave the back of his mind. When I went in for my appointment, I was supported by my SO and the wonderful staff that worked there. I was given a series of blood tests and questions, to ensure my safety and needs were met. I did not once feel unsupported, pressured, or disappointed in my reproductive decisions during my time in the clinic. I had a suction abortion at 6 weeks and 7 days.  I was able to go home that day, stress free and relieved that I was able to have access to this procedure and continue to work on myself and relationship. To this day, my SO and I have frequent conversations on reproductive rights, mental health, and bodily autonomy. We support all walks of life in situations, that may not be ideal in the moment. We look to see and hear the whole of ones life, instead of reacting to something we don’t believe in. We continuously strive to educate and better ourselves with knowledge about the world and each other.

Remember that our stories are ours to tell. We’d love to hear your story too!