I loved feeling him as part of me

So here’s my little timeline of my baby boy.  He was donor conceived on the 27th or 28th of June, a much wanted addition to our single parent single daughter family.  Although I had a good feeling the pregnancy test confirmed a positive on the 12th July.

The positivity was short lived when my NIPT test results came back on the 5th September.  The ultrasound picture was from the following day when I already knew I was unlikely to ever meet him.  That unlikelihood became a certainty when the results from my CVS on the 18th came back on the 20th with confirmation with what I had seen.

On the 28th the excitement of his short existence ended. I know it was the only decision I could make but today there are tears for the son I will never meet.