I’ve been pregnant twice in my life, both times with my first love. The first time, I was 20, we weren’t even dating and when I found out, my partner was thousands of miles away in the military. I had to handle all of the appointments and emotions by myself. I knew immediately I wanted an abortion because I wasn’t ready for a kid. The second time was a year and a half later; my same partner was out of the military and at that time we were in a committed relationship. Even though we were living together, I felt just as alone as the previous time and I decided I wanted another abortion. Again I was just not ready for a kid and not only was my mental health not in a great state, my partner was battling PTSD. There was no way we would have survived raising a kid together. Then when I went to the doctor, they couldn’t find a heartbeat and told me I had a miscarriage. Even though I had chosen abortion again, this added on a ton of confusing emotions that I literally did not know how to handle. Even though I was 100% sure with my decisions, it still took me years to process all of the emotions that came with this. I have never regretted my decisions and am very proud of myself for being brave enough to make a decision that was right for me. I wish I had accounts like this one at those times so a big thanks to everyone on this site.

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