I was the preacher’s daughter, and I had an abortion.
17 years old, on my way to graduate I didn’t know what was next in my fate. Days and days pass by as I notice Mother Nature didn’t stop by to say hello, and in that moment I froze. I quickly went out and got a test. All I remember is sitting in my bathroom pacing back and forth hoping for the best.
Instead, I sank.
As I sank deeper into the ocean with my sweaty palms and heart beating like drums.. my mind raced a thousand times:
positive…positive…positive
I simply pictured my life and all the things I wanted to do, all the things I needed to accomplish. All the things I would’ve had to put on hold in order to raise another human being. I couldn’t. I wasn’t capable to give life to a being who deserved the world. I wasn’t even taking care of myself, how would I do that for a child?
I was raised to be a “good Christian girl” with the strict values of my mother who was a pastor. I was the preacher’s daughter, and I had an abortion. She doesn’t know, and I don’t know if she ever will. No one in my family knows but I don’t regret it.
I had a group that helped me figure it all out in the healthiest and most supportive way. I don’t regret my choice at all because as a teenager I had nothing to give for something I wanted to be prepared for. For me, I needed to do it in order to finish my last year of high school. To be able to move to a different state for college.
For once, I had to think for myself and put my foot down in order for my future. I’m proud of myself because I made the choice that one day, when I’m ready, I’ll be able to give my children the life they deserve and more.
