I had my abortion 8 months ago as I fell pregnant with a copper IUD in situ. I was struggling a lot with feelings of grief and loss post-abortion. Working through that grief I realized it wasn’t the potential child I was grieving, I never wanted that potential child and all the responsibility that comes with raising a human being. Instead I was grieving the loss of the experience of going through pregnancy and giving birth, as I had an overly romanticized idea about pregnancy and childbirth.
I always saw pregnancy and giving birth as the most powerful and transformative experience a person with a uterus could go through. I thought I’d only be a full woman once I’ve given birth. That’s what society taught me. People with uteri are so much more than birthing machines and we shouldn’t be defined through the biological ability to conceive. Womanhood doesn’t equal motherhood. Only wanting to experience pregnancy and childbirth shouldn’t be the reason to bring a human into this world.
After losing my culturally constructed romantic notion about pregnancy and childbirth (thanks to my abortion), I’ve started to question whether I actually ever want to have children. I absolutely can’t imagine what my life would be like right now if I was about to give birth and was stuck with a child for the rest of my life. Now, I can happily say that my abortion saved me and that I’m grateful for it.
