I had my abortion. It saved my life.
I used to be very closed-minded to abortion. I grew up in the middle of redneck southwestern Virginia, in the small town of Rocky Mount. Church, Christianity, Republican central. To be anything different felt like a crime and you got treated differently.
I got pregnant by my now abusive ex-husband at 17. Back then, I didn’t know abortion was a choice I could have. Everyone around me immediately jumped to “well, you’ve got to marry the dad. You’ve got to do this, and that”, setting expectations on me that I felt like I had to go along with. With all of that, I grew into the mindset of everyone else around me.
I ended up having three miscarriages after my first pregnancy, and then followed the birth of my youngest son in 2014. Throughout that entire time, abortion was always looked at by people around me as something to frown upon.
In 2019, I got pregnant for the sixth time. By 19 weeks, it was confirmed that my daughter was experiencing severe complications from Turner Syndrome – Hydrops Fetalis and Fetal Cystic Hygroma. I was referred to a Maternal Fetal Medicine team that was located an hour away from me. The survival rate was at 1%, so the pregnancy was terminal. The specialist working with me stated that my daughter’s cystic hygroma was the worst case they had seen in over 20 years of specializing in MFM and high-risk pregnancies. I wanted to have hope. I was already 19 weeks along. I joined a group of moms who were going through similar situations and started questioning my abortion stance because a lot of the people I looked to for support were having them. It opened my mind.
At 26 weeks, I went in for an ultrasound and found out that my daughter’s Hydrops Fetalis had worsened to the point to where it was affecting her heart rate. I also started having mirror syndrome, extreme swelling throughout my body. The doctors pulled me and my now ex-husband into a room alone and discussed abortion. My ex-husband started throwing a fit declaring “SHE’S NEVER GOING TO HAVE IT!” I was in tears, conflicted. I knew if I continued on with remaining pregnant, I was going to lose my life. The doctors picked up on my distress and pulled me aside into a room alone where we discussed the option of abortion. I felt safe. At that point, my mind was changed on the outlook of abortion. It wasn’t a hard decision for me anymore.
I had my abortion. It saved my life. I would have left my two living sons here alone had it not been for it. Now I advocate for bodily autonomy for all every chance I get, being the “outcast” of my small town, and I’m so proud of my change of heart. Everyone deserves the knowledge, the freedom, the peace, to be able to choose what they feel is best for them.
