So some background first. I was 16 when I first got pregnant. Everyone I knew tried to convince me to get an abortion but I decided that I wanted to keep my baby. I worked very hard for my child, school during the day and working nights. Her dad and I split up shortly after she turned 2. I started dating another guy shortly after and I was with him just under a year. He was fairly controlling and wouldn’t let me do anything like drink, get tattoos or piercings or talk to people he didn’t like, mostly other guys.
When we broke up I found out that he had been sleeping with his ex girlfriend and ended up giving me chlamydia.
I was having a hard time. I lost it a little bit. When my daughter would go with her dad or her grandparents for the weekend, I would usually end up at the bar. I got new piercings and a couple of tattoos and I went to the bar and got hammered whenever I could. I was in a very hard place and i did my share of sleeping around. Eventually, I ended up pregnant. Just before I found out I was pregnant, I learned that my job was being cut to part time. I was losing my health benefits, bringing in half my pay and I had a three year old at home who would have been starving if it hadn’t been for my wonderful, supportive family. This cutback came just over a week before I found out I was pregnant. I was 8 weeks pregnant when I found out, I had obviously been drinking heavily and frequently during the beginning weeks of said pregnancy and I was a single mom to a young child that I had just learned I would soon be unable to provide for. I had been on the neuva ring birth control for 2 years before this. When I got that positive pregnancy test, I realized just how awful my situation was. I knew it would not be fair to my child or that potential baby for me to bring it into the life that I at that time could give it. Both the kids would have grown up hungry and poor. I would never want to put any child in that situation. So I had an abortion. Besides being poor and uneducated, I had been drinking a fair amount so it could have potentially really have harmed the fetus and its development. On top of all of this I wasn’t even sure that I knew who the father was. I made a very difficult decision and I spent three weeks thinking about it before I had the procedure. I agonized over it and I waited until I was 100% sure it was the right thing to do. I did it because I love my daughter and I want to give her and any of my future children everything that I have and everything I can be. Because I was able to abort a fetus that I was not ready for or prepared to take care of, I was able to get into school to work on my post secondary, get an amazing job that pays well, land a second job that also pays well and has great benefits, find a new home that is fit to raise a child in and start a relationship with a wonderful man who loves my daughter to bits. None of that would have been possible if I had needed to carry out a pregnancy and either give up that child for adoption or raise it alongside my current daughter. That’s my story. I haven’t been able to share it personally yet as I am terrified that my family and friends will not accept me.
