My Abortion 2022

by Jasmine

August 17, 2022

Content Warning: rape

Yesterday I received a surgical abortion in my home country, Canada. The nurse and staff of the abortion clinic were incredibly friendly and supportive. I arrived at the clinic, the nurse did an ultrasound and found that I was 9 weeks pregnant. Then, I had my blood type tested. I took some medication. I signed consent forms with a social worker and talked about different birth control options. I was given an IV and some sort of medication. The whole process was very quick and blurry because I was only half awake. I threw up immediately afterwards because I had been very nauseous. The nurse, afterwards, gave me a heating pad, some cookies, and some juice. I felt dizzy, but within a few hours the nausea had completely vanished and I felt like myself again. Prior to my abortion, I could not control when or where I vomited as I was nauseous all day and had no warning before I would vomit. Pregnancy was difficult for me, and I wanted no part of it. Pregnancy sickness is not always spoken about, but it is an issue that can disrupt a person’s life. It was very difficult for me to focus on writing my Master’s research when I felt more sick than any flu or other common sickness that I had experienced before.

I am finishing a Master’s degree and starting law school in September. My abortion has allowed me to continue working on my Master’s research without vomiting after every meal. My abortion has allowed me to attend law school without being weighed down by pregnancy sickness, the birth process, and caring for an infant. My abortion has allowed me to feel like a whole person again. My abortion has allowed me to continue fulfilling my dreams.

I am twenty-three years old and yesterday was the second abortion that I have received. My fiance wants children, but he respected my decision knowing that only I can decide what is best for my body. My sister wants a niece, but she gave me all of her love and support during my decision making process. My best friend patiently listened to the logistics of my university situation and agreed that abortion made perfect sense for me. As I spoke on the phone with my friend, though, she reminded me that none of the factors I was speaking of mattered: The only question I needed to ask myself was whether I wanted to be pregnant. I did not want to be pregnant at that time, and that is the simple reason that I booked my abortion appointment.

I do not feel any pain, or any sense of loss. I can only feel gratitude that I had the freedom to make this decision when there is so much reproductive inequality in our world. When I discovered that I was pregnant, I was in Peru, a beautiful country, but one without legal abortion. During the time that I was pregnant, Roe V Wade was overturned. The horror of world politics was all the more chilling given my situation.

I experienced my first abortion much differently. I had been in an abusive relationship with someone who had lied to me about his fertility and raped me repeatedly. I was only eighteen years-old. I only told one person at that time about my situation, and that person was very much anti-abortion. While I was incredibly grateful to be able to access abortion, I felt isolated and alone. This second abortion has prompted me to reflect on my first situation, which is similar to so many other people’s circumstances. In short, my heart goes out to anyone who wanted pro-abortion support, but was left without the love and respect that they needed.

There is absolutely no chance at equality without abortion. My heart aches to think about the people who are located in places where abortion is illegal or inaccessible.

People have always had abortions and always will. I hope that one day people of all genders, backgrounds, social classes, religions, sexual orientations, and people from any other walk of life will have a global right to abortion. I hope that one day any person can access abortion based on one reason: Whether or not they wish to be pregnant. The right to terminate a pregnancy is a fundamental human right that I hope is one day codified in international laws.

For now, I will celebrate my choice and my story.

Remember that our stories are ours to tell. We’d love to hear your story too!