My abortion

by Anonymous

May 11, 2020

I told myself that I would share my story on here after I had my abortion in hopes of comforting someone else as so many other women’s stories on this page comforted me.

I am 21 years old and am still working on finishing my degree. I had been off birth control for about a year because of the effects it had on my body and I could never find one that worked well for me. My periods had always been pretty regular so when I was four days late I immediately suspected that I could possibly be pregnant. I knew that if the test I was about to take was positive that I would want to get an abortion. There was just no way that I could personally bring a child into this world right now. As I suspected, the test was positive. Right away I started researching different options and clinics that would be open. Two days later I made the call to schedule my appointment. I had gone back and forth in my head on whether to get the medical or surgical in clinic abortion. Ultimately I decided the in clinic abortion would be best for me due to anxiety issues I struggle with. I wanted to be able to be in the comfort of doctors and nurses and know walking out of the office that everything was done and that there were no complications. The woman on the phone was so nice and talked to me about all my questions and concerns and also gave me a walk through of the procedure. I had to wait about two weeks for my appointment since they wanted to make sure I was 6 weeks along so they could see clearly on the ultrasound. I think the waiting was the worst part. The morning sickness started as well as headaches and not being able to sleep. I was so anxious. Constantly searching and reading as many stories from real women as I could find that it seemed like I couldn’t focus on anything else.

The Procedure

The day of my appointment had finally arrived and I was surprisingly less anxious than I was in the weeks leading up to it. I knew that in a few hours I would be so relieved and on my way home to rest. I did my best to keep myself busy in the morning and eat a good meal and drink plenty of water. Finally I headed over to the clinic and when I got there I was greeted by two lovely women at the desk. I filled out my paper work and waited for about an hour. Then a nurse brought me back to do my vitals and an ultrasound she also then gave me 800mg of ibuprofen. She asked if I wanted to see or hear anything and I said no. She respected my decision and didn’t make me feel bad about it. Next they moved me to the room that my procedure would be in. I chose to have conscious sedation. The doctor came in who was a very nice young woman who again talked to me about all my concerns and made me feel safe and that I was going to be okay. One of the most comforting things anyone has ever said to me was by a nurse in that room. She said “anyone can do anything for five minutes.” This relaxed me and seemed to give me the strength to get through. The doctor came back in and the procedure started off like a regular exam. A speculum was inserted in me and they injected some cleaning solution. Next I got two shots of lidocaine into my cervix which was uncomfortable but only for a short period of time. The clinic I went to had me use nitrous oxide which isn’t a pain reliever but more of a muscle relaxer that puts you in a daze but only for about five minutes. Next after my cervix was numb was a lot of intense cramping but only for two minutes at most and then it was over. At the time it seemed like it dragged on forever but looking back the whole procedure probably lasted six minutes from start to finish. I decided I wanted to try an IUD so that was also placed inside me right after the doctor determined she had gotten everything. There was a nurse there the entire time with me holding my hand and assuring me that I was doing a great job and that everything was going okay. After I got dressed I sat in the recovery room for about 20 minutes with a snack and some water. A different nurse came over and gave me antibiotics and talked to me about what to expect over the next few weeks. They had me check to see how much I was bleeding(I was only spotting a tiny bit) and then I was on my way home.

After the Procedure:

That same day I felt slight cramping but no worse than regular period cramps. I had minimal bleeding but was mostly just tired from all the stress finally being lifted off my shoulders. The following days I honestly felt pretty much back to normal. My appetite returned. No bleeding and only minimal cramps every once in a while. I was able to get back on track with my life and feel like myself again. I never felt unsure about my decision and even at the most uncomfortable parts it helped to know that soon it would all be over and I was in a place were I felt safe and my choice was understood. All I can say to anyone who is scared is that the worst part about it is really in your head. I was lucky enough to have a good support system of friends around me and a loving boyfriend who was there for me with anything I needed. Sorry for the long post I just really wanted to be able to go into some detail in hopes of easing someones worries out there if I can.

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