Medical Abortion.

by Anonymous

June 30, 2021

I’m 21 years old. I want to be a mother more than anything. Being a mom is something I’ve always been passionate about. I’m engaged, but do not have a house of my own or a license. I found out I was pregnant the day after mine and my fiancé’s 3rd anniversary.

I never thought I’d have an abortion. I told myself I would keep the baby. But from the moment I saw that second line appear, I knew I wanted an abortion. Quite surprising. But I was scared of what my mother-in-law would think, as she begged me not to get pregnant before my fiancé and I were ready. What I was even more scared of was my child growing up the same way I did. I grew up in a poor family. It was awful. I felt like my child would’ve had the same experience because my fiancé and I weren’t financially ready to live on our own. I didn’t want that.

It took me 4 weeks to get an abortion. Between ride issues, deciding if that’s what I wanted, and just being terrified. But I knew the whole time I wanted to have an abortion. My appointment was long, as expected. I had my very first ultrasound, a vaginal one. I’d never been to the OBGYN at this point. I found out I was 9w3d. I felt awful for not doing it sooner. Since I was so close to the 10 week mark, I had to wait longer than anticipated to take the 2nd round of pills. I bled from the first one. I started feeling myself heavily bleeding and when I made it to the toilet and pushed, it gushed out of me. I was scared. I’m currently going through my experience with the second round of pills. I’m cramping like my period and bleeding a lot. I’m thankful to have my fiancé here with me for support. He’s been a huge help.

I feel so much guilt for this because I want to be a mom so bad. But I know the time isn’t right. I don’t want to hear anyone say that people who have abortions don’t have any negative feelings, because that is far from true. This is the hardest thing I’ve had to go through. Ladies, we all have abortions for the RIGHT reasons. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. It is our body and our lives. We know what’s best. Currently trying to tell myself this to get rid of the guilt. Hoping the cramping and heavy bleeding don’t last too long. I’m so glad I found this website. I can’t wait to hear more stories. <3

Remember that our stories are ours to tell. We’d love to hear your story too!