Me and my mom

by Anonymous

October 31, 2022

I was 19 and in college. I was on a type of birth control that wasn’t a good fit for me, and I had also been traveling and had trouble getting my prescription filled. I took Plan B kind of late and got pregnant. I was experiencing nausea. When I took the pregnancy test, I knew I wanted an abortion, because I never had any doubts growing up that I would get an abortion if I wasn’t ready to be a parent. I was absolutely terrified of abortion pills because of all the bleeding and cramping people described. Fortunately, I lived in a very liberal city and my boyfriend and friends were very supportive, so I went to a clinic instead. The clinic performed an aspiration procedure and gave me laughing gas so I didn’t experience any pain. It was over quickly and was an extremely supportive and calming environment. I spent a couple hours recovering there after the procedure, but that was pretty much it. No side effects or pain. My boyfriend held my hand during the procedure and stayed with me the whole time.

For years after I didn’t tell my parents. But after Roe was overturned, I found myself getting in a fight with my mom over nothing, and ended up explaining that things with Roe had really messed me up and told her I had had an abortion at 19. That’s when I found out my mom had also had an abortion at 19 before Roe was passed. She had had to travel by train to a different state and had a very painful and upsetting experience at the clinic and then traveling back home. She was clearly still upset/traumatized by how difficult it had been decades later.

I am glad that both of us were able to get the procedure when we needed it, but I wish everyone could have my experience instead of my mom’s. You should be free to get the type of treatment you want, whether that is pills or something else, and you shouldn’t have to take an isolating journey far away to get it. My abortion was not in the least bit traumatizing or upsetting; what is traumatizing and upsetting is when other people try to take away our autonomy over our own bodies.

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