Married Mothers Have Abortions Too

by Anonymous

May 20, 2021

Seven pregnancies = three miscarriages, three beautiful children, and one abortion. Everyone’s reproductive journeys are different and no one looking from the outside in could possibly judge them.

When me and my partner first got together I accidentally got pregnant, despite being on the pill. I miscarried in the first trimester and was surprised by how sad I was, even though we were fairly sure we did not want to be parents yet. A few years and a wedding later, we started trying for a baby only to have two more miscarriages. For my third miscarriage I opted for ‘medical management’ which in my country means the ‘abortion pill’. That way a nurse could administer the medicine and I could go home and snuggle on the couch in my sweats, safe in the knowledge that the unviable pregnancy would be over soon. My fourth pregnancy stuck, and so did my fifth and sixth. We have three incredible, adorable, noisy, wonderful children and know that our family is complete. My partner got a vasectomy a few years ago and we went back for all the checks. All of the results showed a successful procedure and we were given the all clear by the doctors. During these past wild months of lockdowns and pandemic I started feeling really ill. In the back of my mind I think I knew but couldn’t believe this could happen. Going to the doctors and having the pregnancy confirmed was gut wrenching. One of my partner’s tubes had repaired itself and he was fertile again. Getting the abortion was completely necessary, logical, and natural. I know *precisely* what it takes to raise a child and what that commitment means, and so does my partner. We do not want another child and took very reasonable precautions against that. This abortion was identical in procedure and sensation to my previously medically managed miscarriage only instead of the immense grief and loss I felt that time, I felt nothing but relief and peace. Abortion is just another part of my reproductive life, one that I am immensely grateful for!

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