Less of a Mother

I had an abortion two days ago. I’m almost 33 and I have two healthy boys (7 and 2). I’m married, we have a house, stable jobs and the ability to care for more children. That’s a huge part of why this hurts so much. Why it was so hard to make this decision. Motherhood is so hard no matter what your circumstance. And I know I don’t have more to give. I feel shame because I know so many women who are desperate to be mothers and can’t. I feel shame because I know so many women who feel forced to make the decision to have an abortion because they can’t support another child. Neither of those scenarios are mine. I feel so much guilt making this decision but lucky that I have a choice. I hope I can come out from the other side of this darkness and not feel like less of a mother.. which is how I feel now.