In desperation, like Persephone, I accepted the pomegranate. True to the myth, Hades took what he wanted without regard.
I hit my rock bottom when I fell back into the comfort of his arms. I tried so hard to keep my guards up, but I didn’t use the most important guard… a condom.
The decision to get an abortion was made by him. He wasn’t capable or willing. I couldn’t do it alone. Tearfully, I agreed.
It’s been one year since I made the decision to bleed out what could have been. I often wonder about the one who wasn’t born, but I don’t worry. I trust that it was the right decision. Zephyr, like a gentle breeze, was here and then gone. Where ever and how ever they are, I trust they understand and forgive me.
This is the greatest grief of my life. Getting pregnant and having an abortion was my lowest low. It also helped me to turn my life around. I’ve escaped from Hades and never will return.
I had no idea the power that my body held. Woman* is creator, containing within us a portal to life. She is keeper of the gate. She is also, Kali.
I know I will become a mother someday. My heart is healing and yours will, too.
*I use the term woman and pronoun she to reflect my own experience. I recognize and honor that persons across the spectrum of gender identity can create life and seek abortion.
