I am so thankful I had access to a safe abortion, AND, I will always want and miss my baby I tried so hard for...
I struggled with infertility and over the course of nine years went through nine surgeries, various types of infertility treatment, and numerous rounds of IVF to have a child. I finally got one viable embryo to transfer after nearly a decade. I have struggled with severe anxiety for most of my life, and had a lot of fears around pregnancy, but I decided I wanted it more than I was afraid. To my surprise, my one viable embryo was a miracle and actually stuck!!
My husband and I were so happy to be pregnant after trying to conceive for nearly ten years. Around week 7 in my pregnancy, my mental and physical health suddenly took a very dark turn. I was incredibly ill and became severely anxious and depressed to the point that I couldn’t function. I tried numerous medications and consulted with the best doctors, and nothing helped. I was so scared, but hoped things would improve after the first trimester as many said it would, so I held on, but things didn’t improve. Each week I booked an appointment at PP desperately seeking a sense of a way out, and would eventually cancel, as that was the last thing I wanted to do. I felt so desperate and scared of what could come of me if I didn’t get help. I felt I was stuck in an impossible place. It felt as though I was being asked if I wanted to be struck by a bus or a train. I didn’t feel I had a choice, and after many weeks and hard conversations with my family, we decided to terminate a very long awaited for and wanted pregnancy.
I have always been pro-choice, but I never thought I would be someone who would find herself in this type of situation. Every story is unique, and I just want people to know about heart breaking stories like mine and how important abortion is. It is 100 percent healthcare. I am so thankful I had access to a safe abortion, AND, I will always want and miss my baby I tried so hard for…
