It wasn’t our time

by Car

June 4, 2019

When I was 16 I was diagnosed with a reproductive disorder that would later prove to be a challenge.


When I was 21, a mere 3 months away from my 22nd birthday, I found out I was about 6 weeks pregnant. I refrained from getting excited or planning or anything until I sat with my doctor & we talked about all the options.


But y’all, I wanted to keep it. Man, oh man, I wanted that baby. But due to the nature of my disorder, the pregnancy was high risk from the start. As I battled the decision on what to do, my body showed me my answer.


I was getting weaker everyday. It was hard for me to put on clothes. My body wasn’t handling it well. & when I spoke to my doctor AGAIN about it, they informed me that due to my not being able to carry well, one of us may not survive to see the end of this. & if we did, we didn’t know if everyone would be healthy. I was also in a toxic relationship & had been for years. My body was already taking in so much stress on top of a pregnancy I couldn’t handle.


I cried, I prayed, I begged the universe for some peace of mind. There were SO MANY risks involved. But in the end, I was fortunate enough to be able to choose what was right for me, my body & my circumstances.


I am uncomfortable & I still struggle with talking about it. Because I wanted it so bad. Because I’m sad about it. Because it’s deeply personal. Because I’m still coming to terms with it. But I can’t stay silent while these bills are being passed through.


Remember that our stories are ours to tell. We’d love to hear your story too!