It happened

I found out I was pregnant 2 weeks ago, I was approximately 5 weeks. I instantly said I did not want it , I wasn’t ready to be a mom, I just graduated from college and I haven’t even been on my own a year yet. I talked to my inner circle and I cried about feeling the way that I did. I didn’t know if it made me a terrible person but I knew that I wasn’t ready now and I wouldn’t be ready in 9 months. Strangely, I became at peace with it. My boyfriend and I have only been together for a month and we both said we weren’t ready. We’re still trying to get to know each other and there are days when I thought that I knew I didn’t want a baby for him right now. I guess the feelings that I feel now is that …I feel like I should feel bad but I don’t. I’m relieved, I feel like I can live my life and move on. I know my hormones play a major role but I know deep down inside that was a pill I was not ready to swallow. I was not ready to be that adult, mentality, physically and emotionally. 18 years is a long time for someone to be dependent on me and I’m not ready to start that journey just yet.