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In the city of crosses, Las Cruces

by Anonymous

September 11, 2018

I have been pregnant twice,  but I have no kids. The first time I got pregnant I was 17 and with someone I had dated for a year. I wanted to have the baby I really loved seeing a positive pregnancy test… Until I began to lose weight.  I couldn’t hold anything down and I was nauseous all day.  I dropped 18 pounds. It wasn’t until I had a doctors appointment, went out to the mountains , came back home and walked through the doors that I realized what could be happening. That was a whole other experience , but long story short I was 1 our of the 4 women who miscarry their first pregnancy.

Fast forward a few months and I’m on a new birth control. It’s January , turning into February. I start feeling better , more aware of my body. I start becoming  nauseous and see the tell tale signs of pregnancy. A pregnancy test confirmed my worries. This time, I was not emotionally ready. I wasn’t well, I wasn’t ready to chance losing something again, I wasn’t prepared to sacrifice my time and childhood. I wanted to pursue college, to go out, to do stupid adventures and make mistakes without affecting anyone but myself. So on a Wednesday I went into an abortion clinic , in a catholic town. The same place where when I drove to college, protesters were sitting outside shouting that it’s against Gods will, that it isn’t right.

Now I found myself here. Alone. Doing this, all by myself. The doctors didn’t even live in the town, they flew out every other weekend to administer the mifeprex. So, after going in on a Wednesday , I was told to come back on a Saturday.

On February 14th, 2015 I went into an Abortion clinic to see a doctor for a prescription. I spent that day high on the Vicodin Well my boyfriend at the time now ex-boyfriend played video games. For a while I questioned if I was doing the right thing, and I truly believe that I did. I make the sacrifice now in order for my future children to have a life and childhood that I never did.

I believe that every woman  should do what is best for herself. It is all about having a choice .

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