I honestly thought I would feel more. When that test came back back positive on a Thursday night I was shocked at myself to feel the way I did. Which was a big sense of dread and sadness at the thought of keeping this child. I never wanted kids. But I never thought I would have an abortion. I found out I was pregnant 8 days ago. I called a clinic the next morning and scheduled an appointment for my first abortion consultation. That appointment was yesterday. Today, I took the first abortion pill and tomorrow I will take the final one to pass the fetus.
I’m writing this because as soon as I found out I was pregnant, I felt nothing for this baby. And I felt so alone. I told 2 friends I was pregnant in addition to my boyfriend. My boyfriend knew I wanted an abortion but my friends and I had never talked about it. As soon as I told them they said “wow congrats!”. But I didn’t feel anything. I didn’t feel sad when I made that appointment and I didn’t feel sad when I took the pill at the clinic today. And I don’t even feel relieved yet. I want to share my story to let other girls know the same thing that I was wondering when I turned to this page for some kind of comfort…
IT IS OKAY NOT TO FEEL ANYTHING! You are not alone. I am here to tell the girls that haven’t taken the pill yet but plan to, and are confused on why they don’t feel sad, happy, or anything at all, that it’s okay. I saw so many brave stories on here about girls who were happy about their abortion and some who were upset about it. But I feel nothing…I feel disconnected from the whole situation. And that’s okay…Because at the end of the day, you’re what’s important here. And you had a CHOICE! Isn’t that amazing? You have your whole life ahead of you. It’s okay to be numb and then forget it ever happened.
It’s okay. I promise. You’re not heartless. You’re just strong.
