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I’m struggling to forgive myself

by Anonymous

January 12, 2024

I was mid/late thirties and newly dating a guy. We found out I was accidentally pregnant. I’ve wanted for a long time a partner and kids. Things weren’t great–he wasn’t a good guy at all but I wanted the white picket fence. He eventually left asking for no contact then would randomly reach out.

My family and friends started telling me to get rid of him (the father). My life would be hard and awful. If I wanted a kid to just have the abortion and have a kid next year on my own. I’m happy to not be attached to him for the rest of my life and all the struggles of him being in my life, but I’m struggling to forgive myself for what I did. In the moment I wasn’t fully decided on what to do, I was so scared and overwhelmed about being alone but also wanted to be a mom. I fear I may never end up with kids due to my age and that hurts a lot. I’m struggling to forgive myself and the thought of trying for a kid in the future or dating someone with kids makes me feel undeserving.

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