I’m not upset with my choice of getting an abortion, I’m upset that my first time being pregnant wasn’t the blissful memory I thought it would be.
I got pregnant while on the pill. My first ever relationship, my only partner, and the man I wish to spend my whole life with. We had always had hopes of the future, one filled with kids, financial stability, and our dream careers. In college, too young, and a month late on my period, I remember taking the test together. We were filled with fear, knowing that if it was positive we were not ready in any aspect to provide for a child. My first time wasn’t supposed to be stripped away from me bawling on the bathroom floor. My first time was supposed to be when we were ready and praying abundantly for a child; to find joy in the news. I’m still mad that the fantasy I had in my head about what it would one day be like was far from the reality we faced.
My abortion was one I was at peace with, I never second guessed my decision. I just simply wasn’t ready. One thing I’ve learned through this process is its okay to be mad at life and the circumstances you were put through. Just don’t take it out on yourself. Build yourself up again, be the strong person people look up to, and find hope again for the future. For the people in shoes similar to mine, your time will come. You will get that child and dream future and the best part is you will be ready for the journey that follows. You wont be in fear of what to do, and you’ll be a great parent someday.. your time will come.
