I have always been stringent about avoiding pregnancy, and proactive with my sexual health. That is, I thought that of myself, but I know now that hormones and success over the years avoiding it made me.. a little more carefree. The symptothermal method of cycle tracking worked for me, as long as I followed all the rules. And reader, I knew that we did not follow the rules last month. Long story short, I got pregnant.
My first thought was, “holy crap, so i’m NOT infertile.” (A theory and slight fear I had due to years of success avoiding pregnancy). My second thought was, “I would like to be a mother someday. Just not right now.” My health is not in the shape I would like it to be in to carry out a pregnancy, and neither are my finances.
From my abortion I can focus on curating the life I would like to give to my future children, but also to nurture and enjoy the lifestyle I worked so hard to curate up until this point.
I was 4.5 weeks, so I had caught it pretty early. Regardless, since just a few days ago, I have a new perspective and appreciation for everything in my current life. I also have a new reverence for my spouse and I’s relationship. He’s going to be a great father someday too. Just not yet.
