I was 30, I had a two year old, and was a newly single mom. My daughter’s father just left me after carrying on with another woman and I finally got him to confess. He wasn’t helpful with our daughter and I was deep into ppd, feeling incredibly alone and overwhelmed even before he left. I’m a bartender and I met a guy at work that worked next door. I gave him a chance and chose to explain away the red flags. He immediately grew clingy and in hindsight I was being love bombed.

In a matter of weeks he was talking about moving in and leaving things at my place. He would be at my work every shift. I tried to talk to him about it but it fell on deaf ears. He took me not wanting to see him anymore really hard, I almost called the police on him banging on my walls at 4 in the morning to talk to me… he already had a kid and I did not like how he parented, at all. I felt I dodged a bullet, until I found myself pregnant. It was an easy decision to terminate, there’s no way that man is fit to be raising a child, and there’s no way I can be healthy and tied to him.

I did think it was strange he stole the condoms from my house (also my vibrator) but now I realize he must have poked a hole in them and didn’t want to leave the evidence. I have only relief from the situation. I’m a strong person that was preyed upon in a moment of weakness, and desperate to be appreciated and supported. I asked my employer to borrow the money, he didn’t ask any question. I had to arrange childcare for 2 separate visits to the clinic 3 hours away. In my state, you had to have an appointment to discuss things and they’re required by law to show you the ultrasound. Then, the procedure can happen no sooner than 24 hours after that. Nothing resembled a baby, it didn’t sound like a heartbeat. I thought it was ironic since I never had an ultrasound with my daughter, as it’s not medically necessary for low risk pregnancy.

So, I go back the next week and they give me the pills and I take them home and I was so very grateful to be done with it all so I could focus on raising my daughter and healing. I was supposed to attend a third visit to ensure it went as planned. But as the clinic is so far away and I would need childcare I read up online and felt like it was complete and skipped that one. Now in my state  there is no access to abortions at all. I’m really scared for the women here and am saving up for a stash of abortion pills for myself or any customer that may need help I come across over the bar.