I had just started dating my ex boyfriend again. The relationship was mentally abusive, exhausting, and I just knew nothing else could go wrong. We were only dating for about two months before I realized I had to break up with him.

I realized my period was late. I was having the worst headaches. All I could remember was not taking my birth control because I was being called fat, and I thought that was the problem. I told my ex that we needed to get a test. Before we went out, had dinner, and only talked about good things so it eased our minds.  We waited a week to tell our parents. I was told I either had to put it up for adoption or get an abortion. I told my parents I wasn’t going through nine months of hell and labor to get rid of my own baby.

I was a cheerleader, a swimmer, and a track runner at the time. I couldn’t even make eye contact with the screen at my appointments.  It was heartbreaking realizing what I was going to do.

My ex boyfriend told the whole school and ever since then, my life’s been a mess. Sometimes I get the worst feelings. Every time I take a pill, I puke because it’s a constant reminder of what I did. I don’t know how to dig myself out of this hole. It’s only been a year since this has happened, not a day goes by that I don’t think about my angel baby.