I got involved with the pro-life movement at 18. I had already had 2 children while I was a child myself and the anti-abortion movement seemed to offer support and help I’d never had before. But that came with demands of me and expectations. Pressure to be a “certain way” and it wore me down over time.
I had seen how others were treated for having abortions and leaving the movement right before I found myself in another unplanned pregnancy. I knew with every fiber of my being that I didn’t want to continue that pregnancy. I didnt want to go through another unplanned pregnancy and have another child in unideal circumstances. My worldview of “if women just had more resources they’d always choose to keep their babies” fell apart. I didn’t even bother to ask any of my peers for help and resources. I couldn’t risk the consequences I’d seen other women experience for it. I was cowardly in that way.
And I couldn’t risk being seen going to the clinic by my “friends” who protested outside of it. So I had a self managed abortion at home. My only regret over a year later is that I didn’t get out of the Anti Abortion movement immediately out of fear of retaliation and that I didn’t get proper medical guidance through the process. I deserved to have a safe abortion, and all women deserve to have safe abortions without fear of social and legal consequences.
Please note: There are many resources available to those who self-manage their abortions. SMA is considered medically safe and effective, but people need to know they are not alone. For medical questions, contact the Miscarriage and Abortion Hotline, and see our Resources page for more. – SYA
