I was 18

by Chey

July 17, 2020

I was 18. I was told wrong information about my switching birth controls at the time. “You won’t get pregnant, just use a condom.” We did. I got pregnant. I didn’t know until I was miscarrying though. It was very rough. I felt helpless and choice-less when that happened to me.  Two months later, I got pregnant again. I was on the pill and we still were using condoms. I knew ASAP something was wrong and caught it at 2 weeks. I had to wait 3 weeks to have the abortion. In the meantime, my boyfriend was horribly damaging to my mental health. He would say things like “I’ll support you if you keep it, but I refuse to do adoption or let you raise it alone because I want to be in it’s life and if you try to take it away from me I’ll get full custody because you have a history.” He would use my mental health against me and use jabs like that all the time. If anything was pushing me to do the abortion, it was what would happen with him in my life if I didn’t. It was painful, physically and mentally. I had some “whats if” after I did it. I’m 23 today though and I’m so so so so so so happy I did it. It was the best decision because not long after 18, I would be taking care of my grandparents and doing end of life care for my grandmother. I don’t know how I would have managed all of that with a child when she needed me 24/7. I don’t think I’ll ever regret my choice.

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