I was 17.

by Kelsey

December 4, 2019

Content Warning: rape

I was 17 years old and it was the first night of spring break. My parents had just started to give me more freedom to stay out later, I had my own car, and I’d just made a new friend. She was having a party that night at her boyfriend’s house and I was SO excited. I had one drink. That’s all I remember of that night. I woke up in her spare room, on the floor, and was in a lot of pain. Instantly I knew what happened to me. I’d been drugged and raped. I wasn’t sexually active at the time, so I wasn’t on birth control. About 7 weeks later I got up out of bed to get ready for school. As soon as I got up, I ran to the bathroom and threw up. I was laying with my face on the cold tile crying my eyes out. I just knew I was pregnant. No one knew I’d been raped. I was scared I’d be in trouble and thought it was all my fault.

I got a pregnancy test on the way to school and took it while I was supposed to be in Algebra class. I left school without telling anyone. On the way home, I bough four more tests and took them as soon as I got home. They were all positive. When my parents got home, I told them I was pregnant. I let them believe it was some sort of a “one-night stand” type of thing. I was still completely silent about my rape.

It was such a difficult decision for me to make, but all 4 of us agreed that an abortion was the best plan. I knew their reasoning was that having a baby at 17 would be too much for me. Secretly, I had my own reasons. I couldn’t give birth to my rapist’s baby.

My mom and stepmom found the clinic and both went with me. I cried all the way home. My parents thought I was crying because I was sad. I didn’t want to tell them…I was crying because I was relieved.

Words cannot express how thankful I am for my abortion. I am not ashamed. Not one bit.

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