I want to have a baby but I wasn’t ready

by Sam

June 11, 2019

I met and starting dating the most incredible, kind, and supportive man. But the very first time we had sex I became pregnant. Neither of us thought it would be easy for us, as I have cysts in my ovaries and had never become pregnant before & he had been trying with his previous wife without any luck.


I want to be a mother but I want to be ready. I am in the middle of trying to grow a new business, living at my parents house, not stable financially, and not in the right environment.

I am turning 30 this year and I want more than anything to be a mother, but I knew that this wasn’t the right time. It would not be fair to a child, to my parents, to my partner, to myself to bring a baby into my life right now.


I love in canada so my abortion was covered by our universal health care. I still had to drive 2 hours to obtain it even though I live in a capital city. Abortion is still not as accessible as it should be and I was incredibly lucky that I was in a position to be able to have this procedure in a safe and welcoming environment.


The nurses were comforting and supportive, and I was given what I needed to ensure I was not in pain. My experience was overwhelmingly positive and I am eternally grateful for that.


Now I can focus on building my life to a place where I can be able to give my child what they need, which is most importantly parents who are ready.


I have no regrets, I did not grieve, I would make the same choice again. I had the overwhelming feeling that whatever spirit chooses to enter this life through me, it is more than happy to wait until I am ready.

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