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I thought it was what I wanted

by Anon

May 6, 2020

I was 22 when I had an abortion and I’ve not long turned 23, so it was only a few months ago. Me and my boyfriend have been together just short of 2 years, it was all very fast paced with us, we got together after maybe 2 weeks and moved in together after just 4 months and then all of a sudden we started talking about having a baby. We started trying for a little while but nothing was happening, I sat down with him and explained that it wasn’t what I wanted right now anyway, we’re young, we have a house and 2 dogs and I want to just enjoy that while we can. But one drunken night just before Christmas changed all of that and the first time I took the test and it came back positive I had quite mixed feelings; on one hand I was so happy for my boyfriend because that is what he wanted, but on the other hand I was devastated because I just couldn’t do it. I honestly believed that I could go through with the whole thing as long as my boyfriend was happy, so we went through the normal stages of telling people and going to midwife appointments, but I was on the verge of breaking down and I just did one day and everything went super fast from there. I was scared to tell anyone how I really felt about it, I was scared to be judged, but then when I finally did people were understanding because my happiness mattered to them.

 

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