I’ve debated sharing my abortion story. Mainly because I’ve felt so ashamed and embarrassed that I had to have a second abortion six months after my first one. I remember taking the pregnancy test and immediately saying “no this can’t be happening again.” My first abortion was hard, both physically and emotionally. My second abortion destroyed me. It was a lot tougher on me physically, but the emotions have been the hardest to deal with.
I’m embarrassed that I had to go through it again so soon after. I’m ashamed that we weren’t as careful as I thought we were being. I was on birth control, and my husband started using protection again after the first time. Everything about this abortion made me feel like the worst person on this planet. I’ve had to remind myself time and time again that we made the right decision. My husband and I had just gotten married. We have so many milestones we want to accomplish before we bring children into the world. And I felt like I messed it all up.
I remind myself everyday that it’s not the right time for us to be parents. That we have career goals we want to reach. We want to buy our first house, travel, and be in a better spot financially before we start our family. I’m grateful I have the most amazing partner who’s been the best support system through this. But I still feel so alone.
