The past year I have felt like a horrible abortion advocate. After years of fighting loudly for women’s rights, I stayed silent while SCOTUS started stripping away at them. But the truth is, I just couldn’t say anything. It hit too close to home and every time I tried, it would bring me back to the hardest day of my life.


I had my abortion when I was 21 and in grad school while working and living in Texas. I was 5 weeks and 5 days pregnant. One day away from not being able to get the procedure with the current laws. One day away from my life taking a whole different route.


Most women don’t even realize they’re pregnant by 6 weeks, the only reason I did was because I monitored my period like a hawk and a close friend made me go buy a test. As soon as it came out positive, there was not a single doubt in my mind as to what I wanted to do. I knew I was getting an abortion as soon as I saw those two lines. If it was today, had I waited one more day to take it, I would not be able to.


The process to get it on Texas 4 years ago was already a hassle. I lived in a town with no clinics for atleast an hour an hour and a half drive. I found out Sunday evening, drove to Austin on Monday to find clinics who would be able to take me last minute, but there were none. One amazing woman I spoke to on the phone told me that she would make space for me on Tuesday one way or another. So I drove back to school.


On Tuesday I made the same drive to go through the state mandated counseling and begin my 24 hour wait, and once again, I drove back to school. Finally Wednesday morning, that same amazing friend drove me to the clinic for the procedure. The staff were kind and the doctor was compassionate. Everyone was helpful and made sure I was alright, both physically and mentally.


I shouldn’t have had to spend almost 4 days running around trying to get a routine medical procedure. I shouldn’t have been forced to look at an ultrasound of what was nothing more than a clump of cells the size of a lentil. More importantly, I shouldn’t ever have this choice taken away from me.


I didn’t have my abortion due to a rape, it wasn’t because my child wouldn’t have been healthy, nor was it because birth control failed. I has an abortion because I wanted one. There doesn’t need to be a rationalization for it, other than it’s what a pregnant person wants.


Currently I’m in Medical School. I have every intention of being an abortion provider and helping others the way I was. These laws will not stop me from proving safe abortions to those who need them. I’m doing to be the doctor women and pregnant people can go to without any judgment, and help them through thier hard decisions.


October 18th is still the worst day of my life, the most mental pain and anguish I have ever experienced. I don’t regret my choice and I have never doubted it for a second. But I do feel the grief, and I feel the loss. It wasn’t an easy decision but it was the right one for me. And to know that one day could have changed it all is infuriating.


I have spent my whole life proud to be an American, and even more proud to be a Texan. But today, I am ashamed. I vow to keep fighting and to no longer stay silent. A choice is a choice, and no amount of politicking will keep us down. This is the first time I’m telling my story, thank you all for reading it. Every story matters and every abortion matters. On this anniversary of the overturning of Roe v. Wade, I implore you, to fight for the rights of humans everywhere.