I promise it will be okay.

I feel like 2020 is some weird scary joke. I’ve never personally wanted children. It just wasn’t what I wanted in my story. I was on birth control and in a very new very loving relationship. I ended up pregnant anyways. My boyfriend and I had talk after talk about it trying to decide what to do. We are very new, but we love each other very much. We decided if we ever did have kids, the time isn’t now and this isn’t how it should happen. So I called a clinic. I live in a state where there’s a waiting period and it’s just all around looked down upon. So we traveled a few states over to Illinois. I had a surgical at 8 weeks with conscious sedation. Please believe me when I tell you it’s not always awful. I had a very positive experience. The people at the clinic were some of the kindest people I have ever met. The sedation didn’t make me out of it or tired. Which scared me. But I was able to talk through the entire thing, and did so with everyone in the room. It was unpleasant, but I couldn’t believe how fast it was over. Less than three minutes of icky cramps and I was done. Completely tolerable. I believe there was about ten seconds at the very end that I stopped talking to focus on breathing because the cramps got worse, but that was genuinely it. I suffer from horrible anxiety, so if I can do it anyone can. Take comfort in knowing we can do what’s best for our bodies. The pain is temporary, and you can do it. I promise.