I never knew the true feeling of love, until you.

It’s been nearly 2 weeks since I found out about you, I’ve waited a lifetime for you. Sadly I wasn’t able to give you what you needed and therefore, I had to say goodbye to you 5 days ago. My pregnancy symptoms are fading, but my love for you never will, I wish I was in a better place so that I could keep you. I thought I knew what love was, but when I found out about you my heart was ready to burst, I thought I knew what pain was, but when I lost you I felt and still continue to feel unbelievable amount of pain, guilt and loss. I know In time I’ll be at peace with my decision and then some day, when I’m ready I’ll give you a brother or sister. You will be honoured everyday, this was not in vain, you are my first and will always be just that. I associate heavenly beings with looking up at the stars, so I named a star after you, so that all you have to do is look down and I’m there and I have comfort in knowing, even in the rain, snow or blissful darkness, you’re there shining bright. You were too good for this world baby, I can’t wait to meet you again some day, for now, please forgive me.