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I Made This Choice For You

by Cece

March 15, 2019

I never expected this was going to happen to me. Being 21, not in a relationship, no savings and no place of my own was not an ideal situation to raise a child. When I took the pregnancy test that cold December morning, I never expected there to be two lines. The first thing I did was call my mom, who didn’t answer, so I called my cousin and went to her house after. I thought about my choices the whole 3 weeks I knew you. I was 4 weeks when I found out and almost 8 weeks when I decided to choose abortion. I know I made the right choice. I didn’t want you growing up like I did. No money, a mom who had too many other things going on, mental illness, without a dad who is there. I wanted more for you. The father and I decided to go to planned parenthood. There were protesters outside that shook my nerves, but I knew I had to stay strong. I took the pills in the comfort of my room with the father beside me the next day. Even though I know he would not be a good dad for you, I appreciated him being there.

The next time I am pregnant, I want it to be a happy, healthy experience for myself. I want to be married. I want to be in love. I never want to feel the fear and uncertainty I have felt these past few weeks. I never imagined I would have to make this choice, but I know it was the right one. I love you, it was just not my time.

 

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