I Love You

I know everyone says they don’t regret it, but in my own selfish way, I do. If I had to go back, I would do the same thing again because it was never what I wanted for myself, but what I wanted for my baby, I would never bring my baby into this world with all the issues in my life at the moment, I was 18, my boyfriend had his own issues, I was starting school, we lived away from home, but aren’t financially stable enough to have a baby. This was the hardest and easiest decision I had to make. Hard because I didn’t want to do it, easy because I knew that in that moment I had to be the best mother I could be and in order to do that, I had to put the pain on myself rather than bringing a human into this world full of pain. I love that baby and I think about it a lot, I wish I had more time with it, but in no way do I believe I made the wrong decision, no matter how much that decision hurts. I feel like a mother, even if I am not, I grieve the person I never got to meet. Again selfishly I regret it, but I could not be selfish when it came to my baby, so I know I did the right thing. I love you.