I was 19 years old and in my second year of college when I found out I was pregnant. We lived together and talked about getting married one day. I was 19, an active alcoholic and drug addict. When the test said pregnant I went on a bender and a few days later I wasn’t pregnant.
A few months later, another test said pregnant. I was still 19, still in college, still living with my boyfriend and still very much in active addiction. This time was different, a bender wasn’t going to fix this. I called a friend, she told me about a place in Brooklyn. I was calm, composed, determined. I didn’t want to have a baby. I had the abortion and then we went for pancakes.
A year later we broke up. Four years later I got sober. Ten years later I had my first baby. 17 years later I am a sober mother to three very wanted children. I love being a mother and I got to decide when I became one.
