“I know I couldn’t had have the second chance I got without an abortion.”

I was 16 and I was in love. I was shown the wrong side of love and I was too scared to find out for myself If I really was pregnant (I mean of course I was, my period was late for almost a month), so my mother encouraged me to find out. She called the clinic and got the appointment. I was, at the time, living in a country  where abortion was not legal but there was some wiggle room within the law.

A government that was pushing for abortion to be legal, and a bunch of catholic archbishops on television 24/7 were calling people like me a murderer.  At 16, I had to tell a doctor that I would take my own life if I am left with no other option, so I could get an abortion. I was not ready to be a mother and now, only 15 years later, am I thinking of becoming one in the next few years.  The other contributing half for almost a year tried to gaslight me of the fact that the father was someone else. He tried to convince me that I has an infidelity, and manipulated me to not to break up with him.  I was too scared to leave. I would also sometimes have sex when I didn’t want to. Just because I was scared of saying no to him.

This has shaped how I navigate many things in my life. I do struggle to have romantic relationships. It’s too scary. I am anxious of having sex. I have been living for more than 10 years with PTSD. I am now finally able to say that this is something that has happened to me, and not something that shaped me. Thanks to therapy and cycling, I am confident and able to speak up about what I really want.

I am now living a life that I want, even though it hasn’t been an easy journey. But I got an education, a job, and I get to live the life I want to. And I know I couldn’t had have the second chance I got without an abortion.

And for that I am grateful every day.