I just spent the week with my mom and discovered that her grandmother died from complications after an illegal abortion. My grandmother was placed in an orphanage because her father was an alcoholic. This is virtually IDENTICAL to what happened to my paternal grandmother and her mother, only my grandmother was sent to work at a wealthy family’s estate at 8 years old. My mom’s sister died from sepsis after an illegal abortion.

I just can’t wrap my head around the trauma that women endure. The women in my family have endured horrific abuse for generations and have died because of it. It can’t help but make me feel tainted in a way, like that I am perpetuating inherited trauma with every interaction. So I chose not to have kids. My wife and I are aligned on this and I had a vasectomy, but the other day she said that if it failed and she got pregnant, she didn’t think she could have an abortion. I just want her feeling loved and supported and shame free.