I had never thought twice about having children until I had a medical abortion about 2months ago in OH, a strongly red state.
I found out I was pregnant at 20 years old, running my own business with my serious boyfriend. It was devastating, I had extreme morning sickness, and I knew it wasn’t fair to us or most importantly the child to continue with the pregnancy.
The same day I found out, I called an abortion clinic nearby and was scheduled 2 weeks out. When I went in I was 6.5 weeks pregnant with TWINS. At that moment, watching the ultrasound, my heart sank. Having children was always an unrealistic fantasy with the lifestyle I lived. But suddenly I found myself loving them. I have always fought with depression and having them made me feel less alone for that short period of time. But it just wasn’t my time or theirs.
The women working the desk and the counselor were fabulous in making me feel comfortable and reassuring me that I am making this decision for me but after the pill, I found myself struggling.
I found myself struggling with a form of Post-Abortion Syndrome, losing interest in my partner, depressed, no sexual interest, etc. I never regretted having the abortion, however, I never told anyone outside my partner and it has been eating away at me from the moment I entered the clinic. I’m slowly starting to come to terms with it and am thankful for a platform to release the stigma around abortions. For anyone that is going through an abortion, whatever feelings you have, please know they are completely valid.
