I found out that I was pregnant a month after I had finally found the courage to leave a mentally and emotionally  abusive situationship which had left me feeling very anxious and depressed. I was also having a difficult time at work during this period. I decided to have the abortion mainly because I didn’t want to have a connection to this abusive partner for the rest of my life, for financial reasons, and my mental health was in the worst place it had ever been. I was struggling to look after myself let alone anyone else.

I just wasn’t prepared for all the emotions that I was feeling and it took me months after the abortion to settle down emotionally. I also remember my boobs hurting so much and the relief of that pain. I was really focused on the physical side and being able to deal with the pain physically of the abortion but emotionally it was so difficult going through a breakup and abortion all at the same time, it became too much to hold and I ended up feeling hopeless and having suicidal thoughts. I still do feel ashamed and unable to speak publicly and to anyone about it.  I remember not being able to stop crying for weeks and the grief and the loss just felt unbearable at times. I ended up having to leave my job and move back home to live with my parents.

I’m now looking forward to being in bloom again!