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I feel like myself again.

by Anonymous

July 22, 2019

It was an extremely confusing and difficult decision for the first 2 or 3 days after we found out, about a month ago. I’m nearly 40, and this was my first ever pregnancy. I’d wanted kids when I was in my 20s, but it never panned out. This seemed like a cruel joke, why did I only just fall pregnant now? Really?! I do not want to start at 40. I can’t cope with nor want to raise kids at this point in my life. I struggle with a personality disorder and mental health is paramount to me, and I found this whole situation to be quite triggering for me in many ways. Long story short, it was a few weeks’ wait before I could finally get to my procedure (I live in a country where you have to go through a bit of a ‘process’ before you can get your termination). The day came, I was a total nervous wreck, my anxiety and fear were through the roof, only to find out that the surgical procedure was the quickest and most straightforward 5-minute gig ever. A bit of discomfort (but no pain) and it was over. It was over. I have my body back. I have me back. I’m grateful for having had the option to decide, and I’m grateful I decided. You are probably on this site because you’re still deciding, almost there, or already there. That’s how I found this platform. I needed to feel not alone. It was such an alone feeling. You are actually, realistically, truly not alone. I wish you well. 🙂

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