I struggled with my choice at first. At 41 with no children, an unplanned pregnancy was considered a “gift” by so many. But it was not a gift to me. It was terrifying. I had an abortion because I didn’t want to be a 42 year old single mother with an unstable manchild’s child. If I ever have a child in my life, whichever way it arrives – biologically or otherwise, it will be something that comes from love – not trauma, fear, shame or regret.