I did the right thing but it’s hurts me

When I found out I was pregnant I was scared, happy, and shocked, I’m still young I just turned 19. I didn’t know what I wanted to do at first I was stuck. I wanted this baby so bad but I knew I wasn’t ready it broke me. I still have some growing up to do and I want to make sure that when I have a baby that I can give it the world. I made the decision to have an abortion the experience was traumatizing. I cried through the whole thing all I feel now is numbness and I feel sad. I feel this way because I will never get to meet this baby but they will always be in my heart my baby in heaven.