I couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone.

by Megan

December 31, 2019

It was his birthday, but I wasn’t celebrating the day with him.

I had purchased a box of 3 tests to ease my mind thinking 1 would be enough but that I’d probably take 1 tonight and a second in the morning to be sure. When 2 lines showed up on that first test my gut tensed up. I immediately took a second because I was so distraught. After a few agonizing minutes, the same result. I had 1 left, a digital one, I took it the next morning. Clear print: Pregnant.


He was a deadbeat really, already a dad, we weren’t even together. I refused to let this casual hookup be part of my life forever. I couldn’t bring myself to talk to him about it because I felt like telling him I didn’t want kids ever would sound as though I just plain didn’t want him to be the father. We had discussed our views on marriage and kids in the past so I felt confident he would not be wanting the child. When it came down to seeing him after I knew, I couldn’t speak.

I had just met the person I want to be with in September, but didn’t feel ready to sleep with him. Everything was new and he was so perfect. Instead, I went out to see the person I was comfortable with. And by the end of September, unknowingly, I ended up pregnant. I didn’t tell anyone actually.

Fast forward a little over 6 weeks and that’s me sitting on the toilet. Completely alone in my thoughts that night I weighed my options, which overwhelmingly led me to wanting an abortion. Almost 2 weeks later I had a surgical procedure. I was estimated at 8 weeks and 4 days.

The appointment itself was pleasant to say the least. Very caring and informative staff from start to finish. I wish I had the strength to shout my abortion in support of these facilities. I wish I had the strength to talk to my family or my lover about what I went through, but, for now, I am healthy and happy and set in my goals.

I have cried so many times thinking about the experience and the lack of support I felt, but the facility offered counseling if I needed it. That really puts you at ease even if you never utilize it.

So, here at almost 25 years old I didn’t let a birth hinder my life. I am free to make different mistakes as humans do. Here’s hoping that our world opens their eyes to the horrors of unregulated abortion. Abortion is healthcare.

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