I had an abortion two months ago. I already have three children, age 15, 13 and 10 who I live alone with. I loved their baby years so deeply. Having an abortion isn’t something I ever, ever considered I would do. But I got into a relationship which meant raising a baby together would be impossible, and the father made it clear it would not be his choice to have a baby. I didn’t want myself and a baby to become an obligation or an unwanted bind.

I find it hard not to regret or feel sad for the loss. I wonder if I thought about it enough and did it for the right reasons. I know the decision will always be with me. But I try to tell myself, that the me then, did that brave and difficult thing so that the me today wouldn’t have to face raising a baby alone in a difficult situation.

I’m trying to seek ways to deal with the anxiety and the grief. And to trust in what I chose.